The Flight of Firsts… Part 1

As I drifted off to sleep, I could feel my legs—so restless—in my soft jersey sheets, trying hard to catch every last minute before my longest travel journey to date. I reached out for Daniel since I knew it would be the last time we would fall asleep together for some time. For us, this will be the longest time we have spent apart in 11.5 years of being together. In past trips, much of my anxiety was knowing I’d be separated from him, my human security blanky; but now, being a bit older, more in-tune with my anxieties and their origins, plus having Len and Brin, I don’t feel so alone in my travels. So I have felt much more at ease in that area. 

I set my alarm for 5:45am even though I had a strong feeling I probably wasn’t going to need it. 5:30am rolled around, my eyes popped open and I caught a deep breathe in my chest: “It’s Paris day.” I set my feet on the cold hardwood floor of my bedroom and tried to wrap my head around the crazy day that was ahead of me while I slowly walked to the shower. As the water poured over my face all I could think about or even say to myself was “I’m going to Paris today! Like for real…” It’s the same feeling I had the mornings I woke up for the induction births for my sons… Exciting, surreal, and nerve-wracking to top it off. I let the boys all sleep as long as I thought they could because I knew this would be a marathon day. So the longer they slept the better. I put on my airplane clothes, packed up my last bathroom items, and I was ready to go.

Waking up the boys for the last time in their beds was also a very happy, but sad, moment. I couldn’t help but wonder if they would miss the house, their things… the comfort of their beds, like I knew I was going to. I quickly got them dressed, fed them a small breakfast on-the-go, loaded up our bags into the van, and we were off! 

It’s just over an hour to the airport from our house and I had played the drive in my mind a few times already. Would I be overwhelmed, tears in my eyes, butterflies in my stomach, anxious…? But I was so peaceful. Just as I had been the few days leading up. Over the last few months and weeks, I had experienced such deep feelings of anxiousness and the need to recluse from being so overwhelmed, it had gotten to be a lot, but it was all gone. And at a perfect time. 

As we unloaded the van, it hit me just how much stuff I was going to be carrying or in charge of, and that was definitely the first “yikes” moment. Luckily, I would be getting rid of 3 checked items for the majority of our travel, but still, it looked like we were moving house and home on this 6 week adventure. And much to my surprise, the bags were right on weight *loud cheers* So the bags were off, passports and vax card were check, and now the dreaded goodbye or, “see you later,” to Daniel. 

This is another moment that gave me horrible anxiety to think about and I also played over in my mind all day and all night for months. I had even warned Len that Momma might be sad and cry a lot, but that it’s okay and it’s good to miss the ones you love. But AGAIN, to my surprise, I was okay. It was hard and I wished he was coming with us but I was okay. I was so focused on the travel task at hand and that helped me stay out of the emotional hole I could have very easily plunged into. Lots of hugs, kisses, “I’ll see you soon,” and hugs again. We all handled it really well. Daniel is so sweet and even waited for us to go through TSA Precheck (I can’t stress this enough: so so worth it) and waved us on as we walked to our gate. His support and strength in all of this has been, nothing other than wonderful and amazing. I am so fortunate to have him as a partner and father to our sons, and I’ll never say that enough. 

After a long walk through the terminal, looking like a pack mule—pulling Len on his JetKids while pushing Brin in his BabyZen yoyo stroller, all while being stared at—we were on the plane. Lucky for us we got the middle seat *more cheers* and Brin took his first plane ride buckled in his very own seat! I wasn’t sure how Len or Brin would react to take off, since they both had little-to-no experience flying, due to being grounded for the last 2+ years for Covid. As I braced for the take off, half of my least favorite parts of flying, the boys were deep into a movie on the back of there head rests. Len’s eyes lit up as the plane started to pick up speed and lift in to the air. Brin was very unphased and content with his snacks and seat all to himself. Off and away we went, go big or go home for these now frequent flyers. 

The flight was great and everything we needed to start the day off right—that is until our first little hiccup: Len spilling his entire orange juice on his lap. *palm to face* I knew I should have never let him use the cup from the beverage cart but I did and, well, it went everywhere. Luckily, I had grabbed an extra pair of undies from the laundry pile currently occupying our couch (we all have one, right?) just as I was walking out of the house; I guess my intuition must have been on high alert. So, Len got new undies and put on the PJ pants we had brought for our long flight. Before we knew it, we were, very roughly, landing in Salt Lake City. 

After a quick Starbucks run and a sandwich we were ready to board our Parisian Plane in the sky, but if the boarding clusterfuck was any indication of how this flight was going to go, I would have gladly traded that Salted Caramel Cold Brew for a bottle of Corralejo Tequila, salt and a few limes.

More to come…