After many days of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, aka the 100th contemplation of “What is going on in the world?” and, further, “What is going on in my life?” I came to this conclusion: What is life without risks and facing fears? And, what am I waiting for? I have been trying very hard to live in the moment, taking in each day, while also thinking about what I want for the future. Many people whose worlds have been impacted or changed by the last year plus have been in this place. In yoga, they teach about being in the moment—Atha, present— and, I have lived by the mantra “be here now” for more than a decade. But I often find myself in revolving thoughts, future tripping, and making a “life plan.” I ultimately get lost in what I think I want or what I should be doing. I often shush and silence my hopes and dreams for life to keep the easiest path. I find myself succumbing to what might be normal or safe rather than focusing on what my soul is calling for.
For probably the last 9 years, I have spent much of my time seriously feeling like I want to live abroad, Paris ideally, but I would take many other places as well. Imagining what it could look like and what I would do to make it happen. Insert moment of dreaming here: I could work in a grocery store or small shop, our kids would go to primary school nearby where I would drop them off and pick them up, and Daniel could do something where his Spanish and English would come in handy… maybe something for the embassy or private security…a waiter? We could live in a 2 bedroom apartment, enjoying the small space and closeness of living within 4 simple walls. In my mind it’s so achievable; it doesn’t seem like too much or grandiose but then the reality of life starts to creep in and the minor complexities turn into major hurdles and this amazing story stops there… In the middle of its first chapter, in the beginnings of its character development, it’s done. Too hard. Not going to happen. Story over. Then I carry on about my life and push those thoughts and feelings aside…back to reality I go.
But now, I have decided “later” may not come. I might not get a chance to live this crazy dream when my kids are grown. This magical “money” and “free time” people always talk about as a way to push off travel may not come to be. So why not now? Why wait any longer? I’m going for it! I’m opening up this new book of life and I’m writing on its pages one by one. I’m going to scribble and doodle and create all over it. I know it’s going to be scary at times. I know sometimes it’s not going to make sense, but life isn’t always suppose to make sense and I’m going to embrace that in every way I can. As of recent, I have surrendered to the notion I need do things that scare me or make me a little uncomfortable. I have to reach for my dreams and what I want for my life and my family’s lives…Because even if I fall short, even if it’s not exactly what I had planned, I will still have lived and done something I always wanted to; that’s what life is for—experience.
“It is the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting”
Paulo Coelho
So with all that being said, Spring 2022 I am packing up the boys and we are going to spend 5-6 weeks in Paris. Daniel will join us in the middle for a visit to help break up the time he would spend away from me and the boys, but we are going to do it! We are going to have our little taste of living abroad. I am going to get my Parisian experience and I’m so excited to see where this takes us and our life from here on out!
This blog is to help me share my thoughts and feelings on what’s to come in the months leading up to our departure. I also want this to be a resource for those out there who have these same thoughts and desires and want to do more than just talk about them over wine with friends. This blog will be especially great for the Moms and Dads who want to travel far distances with little ones and maybe even want to do it alone. I want to bring my travel planning, chaos coordinating, and homemaker-anywhere-skills to those in search of making dreams realities. Let me be your guide. If I can do it, you can too!
More to come…
She's gone to Paris 